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How to Support a Friend Or Family Member Whose Baby is in a Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) or Neonatal Unit (NICU)


Welcoming a new baby into the world is supposed to be a joyous occasion, filled with love and celebration. But when a baby is born prematurely or with health complications requiring intensive care, it can be an incredibly stressful and challenging time for both the parents and their loved ones.

As a neonatal nurse, I often heard stories of great support from friends and family, and also parents that felt isolated and alone during this time. 

If you have a friend or family member who has a baby in an NHS Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) or Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU), you may be wondering how best to offer your support during this difficult time. Here are some ways you can be there for your loved one:

  1. Offer Practical Support: One of the most helpful things you can do is to offer practical assistance. This could include running errands, cooking meals, taking care of older siblings or pets, or helping with household chores. By taking on some of these tasks, you can help alleviate some of the stress your friend may be facing, allowing them to focus on being with their baby in the NICU.

  2. Be a Listening Ear: Your friend may be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions – fear, worry, sadness, and uncertainty. Be there to listen without judgment and offer a sympathetic ear whenever they need to talk. Sometimes, just having someone to vent to can provide immense comfort during such a challenging time.

  3. Respect Their Boundaries: While your intentions may be good, it's important to respect your friend's boundaries and preferences. Some parents may want to give constant updates and support, while others may prefer space and privacy. Always follow their lead and let them know that you're available whenever they need you.

  4. Offer Emotional Support: Let your friend know that you're there for them emotionally, whether it's through a heartfelt message, a phone call, or a visit to the hospital. Offer words of encouragement, reassurance, and hope, and remind them that they're not alone in this journey.

  5. Educate Yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about the NICU experience and the challenges that premature or ill babies and their families face. This will not only help you better understand what your friend is going through but also enable you to provide more meaningful support and empathy.

  6. Respect Hospital Policies: When visiting your friend and their baby in the NICU, it's essential to respect the hospital's policies and guidelines. This may include washing your hands thoroughly, refraining from bringing in outside food or drink, and adhering to visiting hours and restrictions.

  7. Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate every milestone, no matter how small, with your friend and their family. Whether it's a baby's first weight gain, coming off a ventilator, or reaching a feeding milestone, these moments are significant and worthy of celebration.

  8. Offer Practical Help at Home: Once the baby is discharged from the NICU, your friend may still need support as they adjust to life at home with their new addition. Offer to help with childcare, meal preparation, or household chores to ease their transition and give them some much-needed time to rest and bond with their baby.

  9. Provide Long-term Support: Remember that the NICU journey doesn't end when the baby is discharged. Your friend may continue to face challenges and uncertainties as their baby grows and develops. Continue to offer your support and friendship in the days, weeks, and months ahead, and let them know that you're there for the long haul.

  10. Take Care of Yourself: Supporting a friend whose baby is in the NICU can be emotionally taxing, so don't forget to take care of yourself as well. Seek support from other friends or family members, practice self-care activities, and know when to take a step back if you're feeling overwhelmed.

Having a baby in the NICU is an incredibly stressful and emotional experience for parents, but with the love, support, and understanding of friends and family, they can navigate this challenging journey with strength and resilience. By offering your practical help, emotional support, and unwavering presence, you can make a world of difference in your friend's NICU experience.

Remember, it's the little gestures of kindness and compassion that can provide immense comfort and support during such a difficult time. Your friendship and support will be a source of strength for your friend and their family as they navigate the ups and downs of the NICU journey. Our monthly boxes may also be a great support for them each month- take a look at our product page. 

If you know someone who has a baby in an NHS NICU, reach out to them today and let them know that you're there for them every step of the way. Your friendship and support can make all the difference in the world.

Wishing all NICU families strength, hope, and love as they embark on this journey together. Katie x


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